I Do Not Trust You: A Novel Read online

  “Like what?”

  “At first just a lot of partying. Epic parties.” A smile played about his lips. “But then they decided to rob a store. And I went with them.” He paused, glancing away.

  M concentrated on peeling off her scuba suit, sensing he didn’t want her to look at him.

  “I’d only ever had one friend before, Hugh. He was the only one who didn’t treat me like a freak. He didn’t listen to my parents. He stuck by me. But when I was in Paris, I had all these new friends. They didn’t hate me for the power; they loved me for it. And then, when they were in the store, and the police came…”

  “What did you do?” M whispered, afraid to hear the answer.

  “It’s more than just that thing with the water. I can do a lot of stuff. I used it to keep the police back while my friends got out. And one police officer was hurt. Not killed. But really hurt. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

  “They caught you? Baptiste said something about prison,” M said.

  Ash nodded. “They caught me, and they caught my friend Jack. He wanted to be an artist too, taught me a lot. The rest of my friends scattered. I never saw them again.”

  He sounds less bitter about that than I would be, M thought.

  “In jail, they called my parents in England, but they said to let me rot. I had no money, no family, and I was considered a freak. That was the end of my life. Then Philip came.”

  “Philip from the Eye?”

  “Yes. He’d been aware of me for some time. He and the other high priests of Horus can feel the magic. They know when the power of the god has been used, though they cannot use it themselves.”

  “So it’s only you?”

  “Philip explained I was a god channeler. A vessel through which Horus may flow. It is a rare gift. I had been taught it was a curse, so to hear it described as a gift was invaluable to me. Philip took me out of jail and brought me into the Eye. He taught me that Horus had given me the gift out of love. He trained me in the ways of the god. But for all that, still the most wonderful thing he did for me was explain that my power was good, not evil. That I was not evil.”

  “That’s why you’re so loyal to the Eye,” she said.

  “No. It is Horus I am loyal to,” Ash explained. “Once I allowed myself to accept the power, it deepened and grew, and I understood it was the god I felt within. I realized the greatness of Horus.”

  And there he goes again, sounding like a zealot, she thought wryly. She’d never imagined Ash to be abused, but he obviously had been. His lack of normal family life made it difficult to think of him as an adversary—until he started talking about his religion, the whole reason he wouldn’t help her find her father.

  It sounded like lunacy, this idea that he let a god work through him. And yet, the crocs in their suddenly solid water bubbles had not been normal. Her brain had been going over and over it, desperate for a scientific explanation for what she’d seen.

  But there was none. She didn’t know what to think or how to interpret the event, a new feeling for her.

  What Ash did wasn’t natural, she thought. It was supernatural.

  “If you can channel a god, why can’t you just ask him where the pieces are?” she said, asking the first thing that popped into her mind.

  His brow furrowed. “I don’t know. We’ve tried. It doesn’t work that way. Horus has not granted that power to the Eye.”

  “Well, then, why didn’t you just use your power to smash your way out of the building where my father is being held? If you wanted him and his map, why not just burst in, grab him, and leave?”

  Now Ash was sitting up again, leaning toward her. “I am a god channeler, not a god. There are limits. To use any power exhausts my body. I could not take on the cult of Set single-handedly.”

  “Why? Do they have powers too?” She gasped, thinking through the implications. “Is there a person who can channel Set? Is my father being held by people with that sort of magic?”

  “No. Power comes from Horus alone,” Ash said, but she was barely listening. Dad was captive to much darker forces than she’d realized. Did he know?

  “That piece of the artifact—it shot out of the ground like a bullet. Why? Did you move it with your power to keep it away from me?”

  “What? No. Why would I do that? I have not used my powers on you at all,” he protested. “I told you, it weakens me.”

  “So why did the piece go flying away? Does it have its own magic?” M demanded.

  “I don’t know! We have lost much of—”

  “—much of your lore, I know,” she cut him off, frustrated. “Maybe there’s some kind of magnetic pull near Philae—it was always rumored to be an odd island, where fish and birds didn’t go and even the waters behaved strangely. Before it was flooded, I mean.”

  “Whatever happened, the piece is now free in the world, which is extraordinarily dangerous.” Ash climbed heavily to his feet. “We must go back down and find it.”

  “We can’t,” M protested. “Crocodiles, remember? But the sub-bottom profiler found it last time. We can use that to track it!” She leapt up, planning to start the machine again. Her next step landed with a splash.

  The entire deck was wet.

  “We’re taking on water!” she cried.

  “Over there. Did something hit us?” Ash pointed to a small, jagged hole in the hull. M felt a strange tightening sensation in her stomach.

  She stumbled over to the stack of life preservers where she’d hidden the other piece of Set, pawing through them until she found the small leather pouch where she kept it. There was a hole in the bag, as well. A buzzing filled her ears as she opened it.

  Inside lay the Set artifact—arms and torso as one, as if it had been that way all along.

  “The torso shot up here and attached itself to the arms,” she whispered. “It tore right through the boat.”

  “I don’t see a crack or a joint,” Ash murmured, peering over her shoulder. “Nothing to show they were separate pieces.”

  M turned it over in her hands. “There isn’t one.” She pulled and twisted, but the pieces didn’t budge. It was one statue. One piece. Inseparable. “How is that possible?”

  Ash’s expression was grim. “The power of Set.”

  CHAPTER 13

  Ash stared out the window of the plane as it ascended. His shoulders relaxed as he let himself lean back in his seat, Egypt becoming smudges of muted color beneath them. He was sure the high priests of the Eye had felt the burst of power he’d used. They always felt it when he used the power of Horus. If Philip could trace the power accurately enough to get even a rough location, he and the others would come for Ash immediately.

  They would come for M.

  He turned his head so she entered his frame of vision. Her long hair was loose—she only let it down on planes, as far as he could tell. A shame, really, to keep such beauty tied up in a ponytail all the time.

  M didn’t seem to have made the connection that the Eye could be tracking them. He didn’t see any reason to worry her now.

  But he couldn’t shake his own concern. All he’d been able to think about since Philae was getting as far away as possible from the place where he’d exhibited power. It was an old habit—to run from the scene of the crime. Now that they were safe, though, the enormity of what had happened was sinking in.

  Philip must be furious. Obedience without question had been one of Ash’s first lessons in the Eye. It had been a relief to turn himself over to Philip’s teachings. Philip respected the power instead of hating it. His only goal was to help Ash reach his potential, to open him more fully to Horus. Obeying Philip was a way to obey Horus.

  I should end this now, Ash thought. He could subdue M and take the two Set pieces. The one Set piece. He felt sick every time he thought of them fused together. The entire reason the Eye existed was to prevent those pieces from joining again, and thanks to him, they had.

  Is there a way to separate them? He wanted to ask Philip, bu
t that would mean betraying M. And surely that knowledge had been lost. Everything else useful seemed to have been lost, so why not this?

  Ash felt a stab of guilt. M’s influence, he knew, yet it was also the truth. The Eye had never taught him that the pieces would reunite themselves. He’d always assumed there had to be a ritual. He’d learned as much, in fact. What had M said? That facts get forgotten over time, and stories get twisted.

  The pieces had to be re-hidden. It was far too dangerous to carry them around this way, even more so to look for another piece. What if that one fused with these two? Could Ash live with himself if he was the reason the Set statue reunited?

  Could I live with myself if Philip took M, he wondered, closing his eyes against the very idea of it.

  He’d told Philip she would never translate the map for them. But the Eye could force her to give them the locations of the other Set pieces. She would fight with everything in her, but ultimately the Eye would break her.

  M nudged him, bringing him out of his thoughts. “Do you want something to drink?” The flight attendant had reached their row. “Water, please,” he told the man.

  “Are you okay?” M asked. She used her teeth to open a small bag of pretzels.

  “Fine, yes, thanks,” Ash told her.

  “That was not even a little bit convincing,” she replied. “Jellying those crocodiles took a lot out of you. You should try to sleep while you can.”

  There was no hint of revulsion or fear on her face. She was treating him as if nothing had changed; as if he were still the same person he’d been before she saw what lurked inside him. She wasn’t even trying to figure out what his power could do for her, like so many others had.

  It was unexpected. She was unexpected. Even with Philip, there were times when he had obviously been calculating how to use Ash’s gift to his advantage. Being Ash’s mentor had allowed Philip to rise quickly within the Eye.

  “You realize you’re staring,” M said. “What? Do I have a bat in the cave?”

  “Pardon?”

  She laughed. “Never mind. Your ever-so-polite Britishness sometimes brings out my crude American. But you were staring.”

  “My thoughts were elsewhere. I didn’t mean to stare,” he explained. He looked out the window again.

  “The pieces are still fused,” M said quietly, as if she’d known what he was thinking all along. “Why? Are they some kind of freaky strong magnets?”

  Ash knotted his hands together. “I don’t know anything about them,” he admitted. “At least not about their physical properties. At one time they are said to have been part of a completely ordinary piece of statuary. Then, many thousands of years ago, a group of five priests bound Set to the statue.”

  “Horus priests?” she asked.

  He nodded. “After, the priests broke it into five pieces, and each went in a different direction, to hide them as far apart as possible. They got the idea from him, from what he did to his brother Osiris.”

  “I still find it impossible to believe,” M said.

  “Even after what you saw me do? Even after the way the pieces joined?” Ash asked.

  “It’s easier for me to think magnetism, and some kind of telekinesis on your part,” M said. “After all, you’re telling me actual gods chopped each other up and squabbled over who got to be in charge of Egypt.”

  “Squabbled?” Ash repeated. “You’re trivializing what Set did. He murdered Horus’s father and dismembered him. That’s hardly a squabble.”

  “And I’m supposed to take it as literal truth?”

  “I do,” Ash said.

  They stared at each other in silence. M sighed. “If I’m supposed to believe myths are true stories, why are they only about gods? I’ve always been more interested in the real people of ancient Egypt than two gods having crazy fights. There wasn’t much about humans in the Contendings of Horus and Set.”

  Ash opened his mouth, but there was nothing to say. For him, it had always been the opposite. What was important to him were the gods, and knowing which god he should dedicate himself to. He’d never questioned what he’d learned of Horus’s relationship with Set. He’d never asked himself if either god cared for the people doing the worshipping.

  For Philip, the actions of Horus weren’t to be questioned. Philip was similar to his father that way—though Philip wouldn’t slap Ash for asking questions. He would just sit silently, cold.

  “The Eye’s mission is to keep Set from destroying the world,” Ash pointed out. “Perhaps Set and Horus didn’t consider how their actions impacted humans. But if Set is freed, it will mean the death of every human on the planet.”

  “You really believe the world will be destroyed if the pieces are put together?” M asked.

  “Yes,” Ash answered without hesitation. “And you? After what you’ve seen, it must at least seem like a possibility, theories of telekinesis and magnetism aside.”

  “Let’s say I do believe in the gods. And I accept that you corralled those crocs through the power of Horus. I still don’t understand why everything would be annihilated. Why would Set want to destroy it all? Wouldn’t he just want to enjoy being back in the world?” She kept talking, speeding up. He could tell she was working hard to keep her terror at bay. “And Set isn’t always portrayed as evil. The pharaohs called on him for help during battles. He’s also supposed to help people ascend to heaven. Set and Horus were often thought of as two parts of the heavens, Horus as the daytime sky, Set as the nighttime sky. What does the Eye say about that?”

  “That if the Set animal is reassembled, Set will become incarnate and the world destroyed. Something I believe with every fiber of my being. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe we’re all wrong, but are you willing to risk it?” Ash asked.

  Her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away before they could fall. “You and the Eye can worry about saving the world. All I care about is saving my father. Our deal hasn’t changed.”

  Didn’t she understand that if the world ended her father would die? She would die. That Mike person of hers would die. Everyone she’d ever met would die. But she was willing to risk it all to save her father.

  What was it like, to have such loyalty to another person? To defy all logic just for the tiniest possibility of helping them? He couldn’t imagine taking such a risk for anyone, not Hugh, not Philip.

  And yet, hadn’t he just done the same thing? Staying with M, making sure she was safely away from the Eye? And for what? To keep her safe a little bit longer, until he had to betray her himself? It defied logic.

  “I’m worried about the pieces. They joined together without even a prayer, or a ritual,” he said, surprising himself. He hadn’t meant to tell her his concerns. “My mission is to prevent them from joining, but now I’ve found two pieces and in effect helped them unite. It’s dangerous to keep looking. I need you to tell me the truth.”

  “What truth?”

  “I know when we go to the map locations you’re finding clues where to look for them,” he said. “Is that the code? Does the map tell you where to find these clues, or are you just getting lucky?”

  She didn’t answer right away. Telling him this secret gave her less power. But hadn’t he proven himself by saving her from the crocodiles? He hadn’t known the piece was going to end up attached to the one they’d already found. He could have gone after it and left her to die.

  Ash studied her face. Was she going to trust him?

  “Okay,” she said, and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “My father’s map isn’t the most recent one. The pieces have been moved since it was made.”

  “What?” He gaped at her. Could that be true? “Is that…”

  “That’s why nobody has found the pieces at any of the map locations. They haven’t been there for, well, I’m not sure how long. Sometime after Notre Dame was built and when the Eye lost the ancient language,” she said. “But, so far, at each spot on the old map, there’s been a signpost—glyphs tha
t give the new location of the piece. It’s pretty smart, actually. They made maps, but they also had a backup plan. The people who moved the pieces left directions behind for those who knew how to read them.” She gave Ash a poke in the chest. “Which you don’t. But I do. You still need me.”

  “That’s all but impossible to forget,” Ash answered. “So why are we going to India? Your father sent the cult of Set there already, to some old temple. They didn’t find a signpost.”

  “They didn’t know they were looking for one. I got lucky finding the one in Baiae,” M admitted. “And I wasn’t even sure I’d translated the next part of the map correctly. But if my dad sent the cult of Set there, I did it!” Her face glowed with triumph. “I knew I figured it out—there were glyphs for one, temple, creation, ram, and axe. I got stuck on the one for axe for months. I’d been thinking the axe was a lotus flower, because my father had. But then I realized it could be an axe. My dad must have realized it too. Once I got axe, it gave Mike an idea.”

  “Hold on. Your boyfriend knows about this, but you’ve only just told me?” Ash couldn’t believe it.

  “Mike’s not holding my father’s life over my head. You are,” M shot back. “The Eye could have saved my dad. We could both be helping you right now, but you wouldn’t do it.”

  He looked away. She was right, but she should also understand saving everyone on earth was more important than saving one person, even her father. Not that he would know. His father hated him. Ash wasn’t sure he’d feel anything except relief if his father died.

  His relationship with Philip was a lot closer to what M had. But Philip would be willing to kill himself to stop Set from rising. Hell, Philip would kill Ash if necessary.

  “Ash, I can’t not try to save him. You’d understand if you loved your…” She trailed off.

  He flinched, then felt himself soften. “Once we find the pieces, we’ll save your father,” Ash forced the words out. It was harder to lie to her now. He liked her too much. Maybe he could find a way to make it true. Philip hadn’t even entertained the idea of a deal, but Ash had been acting as if it were real.